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How to have a korer0

sometimes being able to spot the signs or know how to have a conversation can make all the difference ... lets all work to prevent suicide in Aoteaora

Why talking can make a difference .. 

What can you do to prevent suicide?

Having a conversation with your friends, or loved ones is a way of letting them know you are here and listening. Sometimes its not about having a mental health problem it could be about a series of small things that could turn into something big such as such needing financial help, support as a relationship breaks down or comes to an end or even just struggling to find work and put food on the table or pay the bills. This small step guide is intended to help you have a conversation with someone as well as some help seeking numbers and referral services that could assist you pointing someone in the right direction.   

It’s also a guide around what happens after you ask the question “are you ok?”. While it is an important question many people may not be ready for the response. If you still struggle with asking the question the referral services and numbers are also there for you – to call and ask advice on what the next steps may be. Remember, support isn’t just there for the person who might need help in moments of struggle – they are also there for you when it comes to how you can support someone in need. 

Recognising the signs 

Some people display signs that they are not travelling so well. Some of the signs that someone might be in trouble include: 
1. Changes in behaviour  

2. Changes in sleeping patterns  

3. Withdrawing from friends and family; social circles  

4. Loss of interest in routine activities or work  

5. Changes in eating habits or not eating at all  

6. Mood swings  

7. Mention of the word “Plan”  

8. Putting their affairs in order or talking openly (and out of character when it comes to death)  

9. Not turning up for planned events, family occasions or activities  

10. The giving away of personal items or things of great value to them  


How to have a conversation


Talking with a loved one about how they feel, and their emotions can be a challenge. Here are some pointers that could be of help to you: 
1. Ask “Are you ok?” – by asking the question it shows you care, especially in a trusted friendship or family setting. The right environment is also key. It may be asking the question in a place that might be comfortable for the person or familiar to them.


2. Listen without judgement – it is important to listen and not judge, whatever the circumstances might be. We all face different situations in our lives and make different life choices. Whatever you do try not to leave a conversation midway through and turn off any interruptions such as your mobile phone.


3. Encourage action – try and guide them to a referral service or possible solution to the problem if you are able; or plant seeds of ideas that could lead to a solution.


4. Check in – always make sure you check in with them on a regular basis and follow up on your conversations – try and never leave someone feeling more isolated by a conversation than it was helpful.  



Help lines

  • Lifeline 0800 543 354

  • Suicide Crisis Help Line 0508 828 865

  • Healthline 0800 611 116

  • Key to Life 0800 2 KORERO

  • Youthline 0800 376 633

  • Parent Help 0800 568 856

  • Gambling Help Line 0800 654 655

  • Family Violence Help Line 0800 456 450

  • Alcohol and Drug Help Line: 0800 787 797

  • Financial, Family and

  • Debt Help Directory: 

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